Que Onda!
Grandpa Hickman says hello!
Tell Grandpa hi from me too! Wow - Rapid City, eh? That's beautiful country up there.
The one question I would ask you is for topic ideas for the new set of sealed envelope messages I'll write and send to you. What sorts of topics would you like me to cover? What counsel would be of most use to you, do you think?
Hmm, yeah some advice for becoming a trainer or a district leader would be really appreciated. Right now, I'm trying to lose myself in the work. That and leadership are the two things that President told me to work on. I don't know though. Sometimes I just appreciate the revelation you receive for me as my father.
Are you having a hard time losing yourself in the work?
Yeah, I confess that
I am. I just don't LOVE my mission like you hear a lot of missionaries
saying that you do. Sometimes I feel like it's really hard to serve
people down here. (There is so much focus) on goals and numbers, and
the people are too prideful to accept help. I have felt like the
solution is to find a new way to serve them, but I don't know what it
is. I found myself reminiscing a little about all of my great
experiences with home teaching as an Aaronic priesthood holder (thanks,
by the way, for being a great example of how to magnify your
priesthood), like all the things with did for the Emersons and how much I
love them, when I felt prompted to go visit Brian that one night, the
night after the Donohue's lost their son and I felt prompted to go visit
them, basically I found myself feeling a little like Elder Eyring does
about his experiences visiting people, and I wish I could serve people
like that here, but it's different here. We are the only ones with the
authority to seek out, teach, and baptize people. It's just harder to
feel the spirit that way.
By the way, I do love my mission. Nothing has changed. I guess I just wouldn't be the lachrymose missionary who weeps and laments his return from the mission field. My goal is to feel coming home like I did leaving for the field. Not because I don't love you guys, but because I just love the people here that much. I kind of feel like that is a good measure of the success I have had as a missionary and the change in my heart.
Who are you teaching? How are they progressing? Who should we pray for?
Well we dropped a bunch of people, but have found some really, really cool ones. We found D*, who came to church this week. We knocked his door and woke him up. We invited him to be baptized right of the bat and he was like, "Sure!" I thought for sure that his acceptance was related to his slumbery state, but the more we have talked with him, the cooler his is. He loved church yesterday. He even called us to tell us that he couldn't go at 11:00 like he thought, but that he wanted to go later at 1:00 and bring his sister. His sister didn't come, but he was still awesome.
Did you get Mer & Jon's package?
They sent a package? Well that is welcome news! It is probably in McAllen, so when someone goes down or comes up, it will come with them. Tell them thank you for me!
What was a time that you felt the spirit this week?
When I was thinking about all of those wonderful experiences I have had serving growing up, I was full of the spirit. Also, I read "When your bow breaks," which is a BYU devotional. I loved it. She is a great writer and super articulate, which I loved, but she also said a ton of things that helped me.
Yeah I actually have to go pretty soon. Thank you guys so much for being willing to help me with my concerns. I do love my mission. You have to know that. I just want to make the most of this time while I am here. Thank you, Dad, for the help.
I love you guys! I have to go - but I love you all so much! Have a wonderful week and I hope you feel my prayers!
Does that kind of make sense? I'm not complaining, I just
think I am coming to terms with a difficulty I knew I was going to
face, and that I know will change my life if I can learn it.
By the way, I do love my mission. Nothing has changed. I guess I just wouldn't be the lachrymose missionary who weeps and laments his return from the mission field. My goal is to feel coming home like I did leaving for the field. Not because I don't love you guys, but because I just love the people here that much. I kind of feel like that is a good measure of the success I have had as a missionary and the change in my heart.
. . .
Well, that's true, Dad. That's what I keep feeling in my heart too, Mom,
but I have just seen how when leaders don't emphasize faith in a goal
how we usually don't hit that goal. It's this weird balance that I can't
figure out. I really just wish that we could all focus on love and serving. It is so
hard to feel the spirit when people are number focused.
Grandma and Grandpa Tams said to tell you "hello" this morning.
Tell them hello for me too and that I love them!
Would you like us to send you a (music) USB drive?
Haha no not really. Everyone else generally has the music I like to listen too, and I don't really want to deal with the hassle of it. In reality, I kind of just want to listen to nice, spiritual stuff, which sometimes isn't what the other missionaries want to hear. It's not gentile music - no one goes that far - they just like really rockus happy christian music about Jesus. I just have a harder time feeling the spirit that way. Sometimes the mission field is more like a football locker room pregame pump up than it is like a visit to the temple. I guess I just feel the spirit differently than a lot of missionaries. I am not complaining. I have learned a lot about how to have Animo, and I really needed that for my life.
Tell them hello for me too and that I love them!
Would you like us to send you a (music) USB drive?
Haha no not really. Everyone else generally has the music I like to listen too, and I don't really want to deal with the hassle of it. In reality, I kind of just want to listen to nice, spiritual stuff, which sometimes isn't what the other missionaries want to hear. It's not gentile music - no one goes that far - they just like really rockus happy christian music about Jesus. I just have a harder time feeling the spirit that way. Sometimes the mission field is more like a football locker room pregame pump up than it is like a visit to the temple. I guess I just feel the spirit differently than a lot of missionaries. I am not complaining. I have learned a lot about how to have Animo, and I really needed that for my life.
Well we dropped a bunch of people, but have found some really, really cool ones. We found D*, who came to church this week. We knocked his door and woke him up. We invited him to be baptized right of the bat and he was like, "Sure!" I thought for sure that his acceptance was related to his slumbery state, but the more we have talked with him, the cooler his is. He loved church yesterday. He even called us to tell us that he couldn't go at 11:00 like he thought, but that he wanted to go later at 1:00 and bring his sister. His sister didn't come, but he was still awesome.
We have two new investigators that came in the other branch that the other Elders told us about yesterday, so that is exciting.
The
real miracle, though, is F* and his Sister. They are 96 and 97
years old, and have twice received all the missionary lessons. Both
times they have left the other missionaries at the font. We are trying
to get them baptized this Sunday,
which is a unique challenge because Fransisco is deaf and his sister
doesn't care if she goes to heaven or hell, she just wants to die. We
are praying that they can get baptized on the 30th and that the sister
softens her heart.
They sent a package? Well that is welcome news! It is probably in McAllen, so when someone goes down or comes up, it will come with them. Tell them thank you for me!
What was a time that you felt the spirit this week?
When I was thinking about all of those wonderful experiences I have had serving growing up, I was full of the spirit. Also, I read "When your bow breaks," which is a BYU devotional. I loved it. She is a great writer and super articulate, which I loved, but she also said a ton of things that helped me.
Yeah I actually have to go pretty soon. Thank you guys so much for being willing to help me with my concerns. I do love my mission. You have to know that. I just want to make the most of this time while I am here. Thank you, Dad, for the help.
I love you guys! I have to go - but I love you all so much! Have a wonderful week and I hope you feel my prayers!
Elder Hickman
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